by Pamelah Landers
Artist, Author, Hand Analyst and Intuitive
Over the last few weeks, two people have been influential in next steps for me in my relationship with power. And thus scarcity. In my world, scarcity emerges from feeling powerless about something.
The two people are Alison Armstrong and Dr. Lou Corleto.
Alison Armstrong, who is my go-to expert on relationships between men and women, earlier this year published her book The Queen's Code in audio format. I bought the printed book years ago, like more than a decade. And it's a whole new journey listening to her read it.
Additionally, Alison is personally facilitating a group, chapter by chapter, for Q&A where she shares additional insights in response to people's questions in which I'm participating.
One of the themes that caught my attention is "giving up the right to emasculate men." Which also leads to not emasculating me or anybody else.
In looking internally at this choice, I realized through reflection that when I have emasculated men it's come from my feelings of scarcity and shows up as judgment, blame, derision, shame plus other things. Mostly derived from a scarcity of safety.
I've also learned from Alison that women and men have very different relationships with safety.
You can find out more about her at www.AlisonArmstrong.com
Also, there is a brilliant way her business people have set up to make this audio available only from her. Not on Audible or Amazon. I see this as a brilliant business strategy.
Dr. Lou Corleto (www.LouCorleto.com) or follow his podcast Tao-Living with Lou Corleto
I met Lou in person at a live workshop in Los Angeles in early November. It turns out, Lou is the "given" part of my asking (ask and it is given). I've been requesting somebody who really grasps healing and self-love, how they work together. Lou lives and teaches it.
In our last session focused, he told me that the most important place for me to begin this next healing journey is feeling safe in my body. Not a new concept to me, it’s definitely the important next set of steps. Providing a few tangible practices, which I've been doing, one of the things he said (my paraphrase), "It's time for some evictions. Evict energies that are not a match for this upgraded body."
As I was with that, "scarcity" was the first word that came through in response to my question to my Guidance, "Where are we starting with evictions?" That felt completely aligned. So began this journey of looking how scarcity has been serving me and now it's not. The first aspect related to scarcity of time.
I "gave notice" to Scarcity and received some push back (as you might imagine.) By the way, I have these conversations in my head or out loud. Scarcity told me it's been serving me really well and doesn't want to go.
I asked, "How have you served me/are serving me?"
"Look at how many things you accomplished because you felt time was scarce!"
"I get that," I shared as I reviewed the truth of this...for decades. "I'm just wondering if there is another way to achieve the same results without having you, Scarcity, run the show?"
"Well, I guess...but before you kick me out, make sure those other things are in place. (Another scarcity perspective.)
When I dug in, I could see how the "scarcity of time" has been such a big factor in my life. Of course, it isn't just about time, but how I work with time. It affects food, for example.
I still work many hours a week as a solopreneur. So I'm busy. That means, going food shopping takes time. Then there is the scarcity thought of "If I don't go fairly early, there will be more people at the store. That means possible parking challenges, more lines, longer wait times, the items I want may be gone...fill in the blank!"
Then there is this: my early hours are my best writing time. So, if I have to go to the store, that means foregoing writing and that means less accomplished that day and that means delaying completing my next writing project...all scarcity thoughts.
The other part where food comes into play with scarcity is preparing it. I buy prepared things (not all but some) because "it takes time to prepare food. It's easier if somebody else does that." And I don't like spending time cleaning up the kitchen. I tend to not do much food prep, thus limiting options to eat. Scarcity of pleasure around food.
So…this scarcity of time has many impacts on how I eat. I know I could have somebody else do the shopping these days. Yet, I like having excuses to change my environment sometimes so food shopping offers that option of getting out.
Of course, scarcity shows up other places with time - not breathing when I'm on a tight deadline to complete something. Feeling limited in "how much time" I have on my calendar and scheduling so I have bio breaks. How do I fit in art time? Where do I create space for girlfriend conversations? How about laundry? Even taking a shower can "impinge" in my schedule. It's felt endless, this scarcity of time thing.
It's changing. I'm evicting scarcity. It's a journey. I feel shifts already. I actually spent time Friday preparing food! And I'm more aware of deep breathing if time is feeling limited. Or changing my thoughts if I go there and shift to different mind chatter "there is enough time for whatever is important. I will get it done just fine." My body relaxes when I change my mind chatter.
In November 2019 I visited my friend Shelley Kekuna in Arizona for a couple of weeks. Shelley is a fabulous cook so we made Christmas cookies. It was fun to spend time doing that, co-creating. So much more preferable to share food prep with another. And, it was an art project which is even better for me, being an artist. I didn't feel the pressure of time during that process.
What is it that you are ready to "evict" and change your relationship with? What is asking to leave your field because it no longer is serving you?
p.s. If you'd like to see some of my "one of a kind art," click here to go to the art page on my website. These are some of my favorites. Others available upon request.