with Pamelah Landers
Failure? Is it Really?
by Pamelah Landers
Expert Master Hand Analyst
This week I had two conversations with people who were perceiving they have failed in some way. One was with business and one in a personal relationship.
Well, I had a strong emotional response. In fact, I kind of got on a rant about it.
The personal relationship person, let's call him "Joe," is in some pain around a relationship that ended after a few years. When I asked Joe what he was feeling, where the sadness was, one of his responses was that the relationship failed.
His partner wanted different things than Joe wanted. And had for quite a while. I'm guessing you've heard things over the years about relationships come into our life for a reason or a season. That's where I went. Reminding Joe of the road they had traveled, I saw no signs of "failure." What I saw was a relationship that has served its purpose. For both of them. Where his partner wanted to go, Joe couldn't fulfill that desire - ever. Because Joe's partner wanted freedom to be single. He's young, in his late 20s.
I see no failure here. And I told him that. It's like ocean waves. They change as do people, constantly. I love this photo that I took in Pacific Grove, CA to demonstrate. See all the different colors of the ocean? That's how we are in relationships - many aspects.
I'm sharing this in case you are judging a circumstance or situation as you have "failed" when in fact, it was time to move on.
The other conversation was with a woman who I'll call "Sue" who was afraid that if she claimed her power, she would lose relationships. I agreed with her. Some people will leave as you change. It's part of the design. As we further investigated the people Sue was referring to, she realized that if she tries to "hold on" to those relationships, it will "hold her back" from doing the work she is ACTUALLY called to do in the world. The struggle, and that's what it has been, to maintain the relationships, is taking up too much of Sue's energy and time.
I've experienced so many relationships leaving my life over the years, dating as well as friendships or business relationships. Many years ago I learned that the people were there for a reason and for both of us it was time to move on. Staying in a relationship because it has served a purpose isn't a reason to stay if that purpose is complete. You may create a new purpose with that person. But the "holding on holds you back."
The "holding on" that holds you back can be connected with:
~ attachments to belief systems or points of view
~ attachments to relationships or people
~ attachments to things
Surrendering into what is current, present, being asked for now is such a relief - truly - for everybody ultimately. There may be temporary pain. And the healing will happen in right timing for everybody involved.
Although Sue saw that the relationships might feel like failure, they don't to me. I see that she can be her magnificent self and shine. People who are asking for that will be in her life. People who aren't, won't.
Photo of me in Sedona taken by Leah Denmark in 2013 at the Airport Vortex
One of the things I share in my new e-book on Ease is that "everything is a vibrational match." For Sue, as she shifts her energy into more truth about expressing herself powerfully, the more she will attract people who like that about her and the others may fall away. It's OK. No failure as far as I can see. And it's an easier life because the attachment to the struggle is released.
If you'd like to learn more about having more ease in your life, check out my new e-book 11 Experiences That Create Ease e-book
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